Crazy Cat Lady 2

The crazy cat lady was so far gone

By the time the medics got there

That all they could do was tag her toes with limericks,

Hide her hair under a pink beret,

And draw daisies on her cheeks in Sharpie.


The cats were too busy playing to the cameras to care

Till Animal Rescue arrived and doused them with Glade,

And linked them tail-to-tail on a ribbon chain  

Like elephants in a circus parade, only

(Like I said),

They were cats. And weren’t they a sight?

The neighbors threw popcorn. Vultures came, and other thrill-seekers.

A din ensued and the cats slipped away, Animal Rescue foiled.

Much later, the crazy lady awoke, sat up, read the limericks out loud,

Scrubbed at the daisies, pulled down the beret and set out to wrangle cats,

Someone else’s or her own,

Last seen scanning the shelves at duty-free

For Toblerones and gin.


badpoem, cats, crazy cat lady

Published on by Martha Freeman.